Examining Our Excitement

I just sinned and I hate it.  Through repentance, I knew forgiveness.  I thanked God and praised Jesus.

Soon afterwards, prompted by awareness of my newfound energy, my mind switched to a dietary supplement called ageLoc Vitality.  (This stuff is the difference between quarterly sinus infections/peeling myself out of bed and more vacation days/being jump started to tackle the day.)  In my excitement, I thought of ways to help others by promoting it.  Then, I realized: it's a dietary supplement.  A dietary supplement.  Why was I so amped up about it?  Why were these little white pills more exciting to me than thoughts of Jesus, my Lord and Savior?

I examined myself... I was viewing the vitality pills with their ongoing benefits; but with Jesus, my eyes were complacently static.  The Cross is not one and done + thanks and now move on, but active intercession and unabridged access to the Giver of Life.  Transformation, gratitude, hope, eternity, glory—this is where my mind should be dwelling.

Ephesians 4:23
...be renewed in the spirit of your minds...

Conscious of Dread

I had a nightmare that I lost my salvation. As a Christian (who by definition knows Christ and therefore knows life), the sense of loss was massively deep, the heavy hopelessness of my (perceived) personal reality a painful dread.

What would be the point of living? To enjoy with reckless abandon the remainder of this blip-on-eternity that we call life? In the face of eternity, decades of earthly pleasure (or pain) are meaningless; they're simply wasted years if they're not ultimately leading Somewhere.

For those who don't know Christ—who don't know life—they're saved from at least being conscious of such dread (for dead men don't know they're dead). And it makes sense, in part, why many don't even want to begin to hear things related to the Gospel: if all you want is this life, and to simply enjoy it, why would you want anyone ruining your flow? It'd be like someone loving McDonald's obliviously (intentional or not) and then having someone, without solicit, tell you the actual ingredients (e.g. pink slime).

Praise God that none who belong to Jesus can be snatched from His hand.

[Jonah 2:6-8]
"...I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever;
yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God.
When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord,
and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.
Those who pay regard to vain idols
forsake their hope of steadfast love..."

[John 10:27-30]
"...My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.”

Proverbs against Babbling

Proverbs 10:8
The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.

Proverbs 10:10
Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 11:12
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

Proverbs 11:13
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

Proverbs 13:3
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

Proverbs 17:27
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Proverbs 17:28
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Proverbs 18:2
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 18:6
A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

Proverbs 18:7
A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

Proverbs 20:19
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Proverbs 21:23
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 29:20
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs advocating for the Poor

Proverbs 14:21
Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.

Proverbs 14:31
Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him.

Proverbs 17:5
Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker; he who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished.

Proverbs 19:17
Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Proverbs 21:13
Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.

Proverbs 22:22-23
Do not rob the poor, because he is poor, or crush the afflicted at the gate, for the Lord will plead their cause and rob of life those who rob them.

Proverbs 28:27
Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.

Proverbs 29:7
A righteous man knows the rights of the poor; a wicked man does not understand such knowledge.

Proverbs 29:14
If a king faithfully judges the poor, his throne will be established forever.

Proverbs 31:8-9
Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Remembering Your Redemption

My deepest need has been met: I've been reconciled to the Giver of Life, the Killer of Death. (As Gungor put it, "when Death dies, all things live.")

I hadn't rock climbed in almost six months and when I left off, I was performing at a level that seemed natural—a personal standard that seemed forever fixed. Breaking that bouldering hiatus last night, I discovered otherwise as I was definitively humbled. At the same time, I developed an appreciation for the previous level of performance to which I was formerly accustomed (e.g. took for granted).

I see now why it's critical to look back on where you came from—where you could still be if it wasn't for Grace—and why that's better than dwelling on current shortcomings and things yet to be attained. Remember what Jesus has already done rather than what He has yet to do. Whether or not I feel it on any given day, on any given day, my deepest need has been met in Jesus. Praise Him!
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Praises to the One who made it all and finds it beautiful! [Gungor]

Amen!
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Work

Just in case you're feel the same as me: I'm really not in the mood to work, but work—in essence—is submission to those whom God has put over us. It is worship.

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Doctrine

1. God is Triune and is, therefore, relational. God is continuously relational with His creation because the Trinity is in everlasting relationship.

2. We are made in His image, and as His image bearers, each and every action either reflects or (more often) sadly misrepresents Him. With each and every sin, therefore, God is the party chiefly offended.

3. God is for God. Human beings (for the most part) inherently know that self-glorification isn't appropriate—and rightly so—because we are designed to glorify something greater than ourselves: the one true God. Only with Him is self-glorification acceptable, appropriate, right, and pure.

4. Jesus suffered and died on our behalf and conquered death to give life to those who have faith. Since all of creation and even death itself is in utter submission to the Living God, how much more are those who have been ransomed to wholly bow at His lordship in regards to all our values, thoughts, and deeds?

5. Forgiveness without atonement is apathetic, a killer of justice and devoid of love. Christ is the ultimate atonement. Believers only have forgiveness because of Jesus' shed blood—which is the propitiation for our sins—and bodily resurrection.

6. Church is family. And Christ is the head.

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Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

Judges 17:6
In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Romans 10:3
For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own,
they did not submit to God's righteousness.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.

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Gratitude to the Overseer

It's like getting used to filet, then complaining when you only get flank;
like living in a mansion for free, then whining when you get moved to the pool house;
like getting paid six figures, then grumbling when you don't get a raise or bonus.

It's like being saved from eternity in hell—then moping about feeling bored, unmotivated, under appreciated, or worthless. Are you kidding me?! His grace is sufficient. His grace is the motherload!

But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
[1 Peter 2:20-25]

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Why ask God for forgiveness? Who is He to give it?

I paint a masterpiece. You then scratch/scar/scuff the product of my hard work, something of great value to me. You feel bad and want to apologize. Do you apologize to the painting, or do you apologize to its creator?

At this point, someone could point out that paintings are inanimate, whereas humans feel and experience. Shouldn't, then, the apology be re-directed to the wounded human?

Well, think of it this way: the Painter is greater than the painting; the God of the universe is greater than a human... we are only dust. Just because a specific created thing (a person) happens to be magnificent, unique, and ever so intricate, it doesn't mean that the Creator-creation relationship breaks down. It just means that the Creator is that much more greater (and, therefore, all the more worthy of being asked for forgiveness).

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One part of the claim tends to slip past us unnoticed because
we have heard it so often that we no longer see what it amounts
to. I mean the claim to forgive sins: any sins. Now unless the
speaker is God, this is really so preposterous as to be comic. We
can all understand how a man forgives offences against himself.
You tread on my toes and I forgive you, you steal my money
and I forgive you. But what should we make of a man, himself
unrobbed and untrodden on, who announced that he forgave
you for treading on other men's toes and stealing other men's
money? Asinine fatuity is the kindest description we should
give of his conduct. Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people
that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the
other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He
unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned,
the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense
only if He really was the God whose laws are broken and
whose love is wounded in every sin. In the mouth of any
speaker who is not God, these words would imply what I can
only regard as a silliness and conceit unrivalled by any other
character in history.

—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
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[FROM TIJUANA] Commanded to Go

Homes built. Orphans fed. For the people of each site we visited, our service was but a day. For some on our team, the trip was a mountaintop experience that, in sad reality, will eventually fizzle out (or even sadder, simply a notch on the belt to feel good about). I know because I've been there before myself. For a few, however, the week-long experience will go down as a pivotal point shaping life from here on out.

"Having my eyes steadily peeled open to the reality that I’ve so often managed to tune out of my life—all the suffering in the world—God wrecked my heart and propelled me to more deeply seeking His face."

That is what I reported after my first trip to Tijuana with Caravan Ministries in 2009. It was true when I wrote it, and still true to this day. But it was vague. On my second visit, already prepared for the Truthful shock-and-awe factor delivered daily by unreserved speakers, God moved me in a different—and very specific—way.

"Go, send, or disobey" (John Piper, speaking of missions) is the maxim of the ministry, and initially, I thought that the LORD's lesson for me in round two was the same as the last: stay, send, and be content. Going into the field sounds glorious; merely sending—not so sexy. You see, despite my desire to Go (the desire of my will, but not necessarily my inherent want), massive pre-Christian-incurred college loans have kept long-term missions off the table.

Here's an illustration of that presupposed lesson. On build site #3, despite wanting to wield a hammer on the casa, I decided to hang out with the chicos nearby. At first, like with missions, I felt like I was sitting on the sidelines, not doing "my part."

But as it would turn out, speeding downhill in a children's toy car with no brakes and playing soccer with those kids was the most meaningful—and fulfilling—time of the trip for me. So, what did I learn that day? Whether Sending (like I thought I was supposed to) or Going, the role should be embraced (God sees the heart).

The next day, however, I realized that although true (that sacrificially sending/intentionally mobilizing/effectively equipping is indeed a vital role within the missional body), it wasn't exactly the message that God wanted to engraft in me. When I first accepted Jesus, there was no BAM! moment like I initially thought there had to be as I was seeking for truth throughout college. When I made the decision to commit to my future bride, there was no supernatural sign giving me the green light. Many of us spend our lives this way: waiting for a sign before we act, being paralyzed in fear of failure or making the wrong decision or stepping outside of God's will (see 1 John 3:20). Well, on my last day in Mexico, God used two rock solid men ("sons of Von") to put things in perspective for me.

Brad, a stellar surfer in his day and native of southern California, had zero desire to become a missionary when he became a Christian. He had no "heart" for lost people and never saw letters in the clouds "calling" him to preach the Gospel to the ends of the earth. He was full of fear, and by his own admittance, basically a pretty bad candidate to be a missionary. What he did have though was Pastor Von, and so somewhat by transitive property, Brad had obedience to God's Word. And God's Word says this:

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

Brad (who, despite his fears, spent twenty years in the jungles of Papua New Guinea, translating the Bible into the local language and planting a now-thriving church) points out that, specifically for missions, God has already said "Yes," and that we don't need to wait for Him to say it again. "Until God shuts you down, you keep going... To surrender to the crosshairs of His will means to embrace fear... There is no Plan B. Are we addicted to Plan B? If you have a Plan B, you will never be in a position to please God, though you can fool everybody else, including yourself."

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) "Worship is giving back to God that which He is worthy of... Self-preservation screams at us, and God's voice will whisper, 'you know I'm credible.'" (Brad)

Right after Brad's talk, Eddie and I shared a truck ride to our last work site, and his advice crystalized the truth resounding in my mind. He told me that our focus should not be on trying to discern God's will for our life; it should just be trying to discern God's will—period. God has already commanded us to go (push into missions, based on His Word), and only stay if we're called (meaning if He keeps closing the door on it).

Commanded to go, called to stay. Personally, I really like this refreshing mindset—it's liberating, it takes my questioning out, and makes God's answer clear.

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." — Jim Elliot, missionary martyr who lost his life in the late 1950's trying to reach the Auca Indians of Ecuador

"If you found a cure for cancer, wouldn't it be inconceivable to hide it from the rest of mankind? How much more inconceivable to keep silent the cure from the eternal wages of death." — Dave Davidson

"If ten men are carrying a log — nine of them on the little end and one at the heavy end — and you want to help, which end will you lift on?" — William Borden, as he reflected on the numbers of Christian workers in the U.S. as compared to those among unreached peoples in China

When James Calvert went out as a missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands, the ship captain tried to turn him back, saying, "You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages." To that, Calvert replied, "We died before we came here."

"The gospel is only good news if it gets there in time." — Carl F. H. Henry

All the more reason to go: And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. (Matthew 24:14) He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

Take It On The Chin

The truest form of toughness is vulnerability.

Think Rocky Balboa versus Clubber Lang (aka Mr. T).

Think Jesus versus Death.

It's looking in the face of physical pain, social ill-acceptance, or spiritual stretching and saying, "OK, let's do this."

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All In, Baby

Marriage talk has arrived at our doorstep. Issues arise and inventories are taken. One such topic is where to potentially live in our first year or two of marriage. My initial focus: practicality. Leah's ideal: living alongside the poor.

Though I may have more sound doctrine on paper and have more of an intentionally evangelical mindset, she hits the nail right smack on the head (probably without even thinking about it) when it comes to living out Scripture.

Is my preference to live amongst the poor? Not really.

Did I get too comfortable somewhere along the way? Uh huh.

Do I like where my heart is at now? No.

Am I willing to dive head first into such a lifestyle anyway? Yes.

If my trust is all in with Jesus, then how can there be room for fear? He is in control—of everything—after all.

(Thanks for being my better half, mama! Blessed indeed.)

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[FROM VANCOUVER] Helpless / Hopeful

Even before my departure, I heard via Leah's reports that Vancouver's Downtown Eastside was Canada's poorest postal code, a few city blocks packed with rampant addictions and conspicuous prostitution, widespread homelessness and overwhelming brokenness. From a photojournalistic stance, it was a surreal world I was readily willing to capture. So, when we were about to set off for our tour of that specific area, I was naturally disappointed (and somewhat bitter) as Leah told me that it would be a real good idea to leave the camera behind.

It took a few minutes, but I eventually got over it and we finally started off. Along the way, Leah described much of what we saw from the destructive effects of gentrification* to the disturbingly acceptable culture of the streets. (Take for example that the Vancouver Police Station is literally across the street from the corner where a lot of the drug-dealers linger (right in front of the community center nonetheless).)

As (just about) always, Leah was right; it was a good idea to leave my camera behind. With empty hands, I was able to fully register the overwhelming experience of what I witnessed. By the time we passed through the Bottle Depot section, my mind was drained and my face stoic.

I didn't like what I saw in my heart. There was a lot of fear, and in turn, I ironically (but I suppose naturally) put up a front of toughness. This is where I learned where I stood with God and His people, where I discovered that cerebral theology—even with an earnest heart—can only get you so far if life is lived in disconnected comfort.

(In the process, I also found that the truest form of toughness is vulnerability. And God showed me that I still have a lifetime's work to go.)

Grabbing lunch at the community center (yes, the same one with all the drug-dealers out in front (the food was cheap and surprisingly good)), Leah and I ran into "Gabriel" and engaged in what turned out to be a (seemingly God-ordained) lengthy conversation.

Probably introverted and minding his own business, "Gabriel" agreed to come join us at our table. Before we knew it, he basically divulged his life story, sharing in detail wild episodes from God calling out for him while he was caught up in drugs, to God's providential guidance and supernatural protection. He's a local who knows the deal; he's a believer on the ground. Addiction is the problem, but money isn't the answer.

Honest. Transparent. Vulnerable. Tough. He should be a preacher. (He said if you want to find out about yourself, spend a year in the Downtown Eastside. Only a mere afternoon and I could see how right on he was.)

All that to say, if there was one thing I could have conveyed through an image of the DTES, it was the existence of a spiritual rock bottom beneath the rock bottom as the world knows... the utter helplessness of man to rescue man. Never in my entire life had I felt as helpless as I did in the thick of that broken street, seeing bodies drift around as if their souls had been stolen. No heap of money, no amount of time spent in detox, no man-made program can restore that. (And it made me realize that any real power that I ever thought I wielded was not my own.)

No man can fix this. Only God can change, only God can save. "Gabriel" stands as living proof of that undeniable power.











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* gentrification: the process of renewal and rebuilding accompanying the influx of middle-class or affluent people into deteriorating areas that often displaces poorer residents

Imagine a town (full of poor Ramen-eating college kids) building nothing but five-star restaurants.

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Judgemental

When I see real life addicts who have changed course and are now seeking after God, easily can I see God smiling upon them... pleased. Yet when I slack in my quiet time and "good deeds," I come down upon myself with scrutiny.

"If I feel judgement, then I am judgemental."
-Michael Collins

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You Think Too Hard

"Don't study the Bible. Follow it."
-Brad Martin

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Revisted: Cleaning House after a Chinese Hangover

Scratch the part about not keeping up with the house! I'm blown away by the seemingly massive difference that a clean house can actually make on how I feel and, therefore, (in my case) live!

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Cleaning House after a Chinese Hangover

It's like a hangover, only from Chinese food. Is this what it feels like to have your face injected with Botox? This is my welcoming party into the Fourth of July, the ensuing aftershock of the first 24 hours of visiting Filipino feeding-frenzied (albeit loving) parents. And it goes to show how critical it is to take good care of one's body and not passively let it go by the wayside.

Here's another illustration. On Saturday, my two housemates and I finally had enough. Though probably still habitable by many a young male's standards, we're big boys now and our apartment was mutually recognized as a filth (that's noun, not adjective). One time, I saw a single fly on the kitchen counter and tried to squash it... only to miss and watch it fly back in s l o w m o t i o n to its black hoard of a nest, which was right behind the backboard above our sink. After I swept the hardwood floors of the living room and dining room, you would have thought that we owned a big blue cat or something.

Anyway, after digging (err, not so deep it seems) I found my inner Mr. Mom and re-arranged the first floor with the help of the housemate. I picked up two area rugs from Target, cleaning supplies from Wal-mart, and having been disappointed with the selection of accent furniture at Home Goods, I settled on a simple yet elegant (e.g. it was cheap) coffee table at another Target. Now (I'm surprised to say), that the house (the general living space at least) is much more habitable—cozy even!

I have a greater appreciation now not for things just being clean, but for all the work that actually goes into it! (It was my friend's wife that put those words together for me, but it doesn't make it any less true.) My friend's wife cleans everyday; I'm guessing lots of moms do. Most guys including myself, however, will ask, "Why?"

The male train of thought will most likely rationalize, "Why do something everyday when you can hardly see a difference? I'd rather just let it go, tackle it when I can no longer stand it, and then feel like I accomplished something when it's finished." For a few things (i.e. cleaning the house), I can twistedly and knuckleheadly agree (however painful in the end) with the aforementioned rationale.

When it comes to health, people, and relationships though, a letting-it-go kind of mentality is simply foolish and downright destructive. God says that you should be taking care of your body, and loving others just as much—not putting it on the backburner and then taking care of it later. Take care of it (whatever that thing is) now.

Hm... I need to take care of something.
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James 4:17

"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

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Proverbs 21:13

"Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered."

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