Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Gift vs Exchange

There is no such thing as "it was all for nothing" when it comes to love. Not in real love. And it's only real when gifted, meaning given not at the expectation of generating a response (receiving some form of self-gratification in the future), nor for the sake of returning a "gift," (for having received some form of self-gratification in the past) which is really no gift at all, but rather payment. (Obviously, there is nothing wrong with receiving love and enjoying its benefits since it is the natural by-product of gifting, but only responding and never initiating calls for a gut check.*) "It was all for nothing" implies expectation. Expectation is not love, but (in this context) self-entitlement.

So when asked, "Why do you love that person?," a list of wonderful things about that special someone just doesn't cut it. The only answer that comes even close to acceptable is "Because I choose to." Even this response is flawed because we're only human (self-seeking and depraved at the core*), which means that something must be driving us to choose one way or another.

Love can only be True when the sustaining source is internal, not external. And on their own, I know that my internals aren't good enough (Psalm 16:2). But I do not end without hope (obvious to some, a reminder to many, available to all): God is love; we love because He first loved us (see 1 John 4:7-21).




* plank in the eye
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